It is probably the question I am asked most often, directly or in some variation, when I mention that I have taken up coaching as my field.
And who could be surprised? After all, the term coaching is used everywhere.
Consultants use it to sell their programs, mentors describe a trendier approach to their work with it, and questionable characters “coach” you toward success, wealth, and new friends.
This does not only create false expectations; it dilutes the term and leads to disappointment.
That is why I invite you in the following lines to a clarification.
Coaching is not therapy, yet closely related
In coaching, I draw on a wide range of techniques to give you – and your story – the space you not only deserve, but also need in order to discover new perspectives. A considerable part of these techniques originates in psychology as well as the social and human sciences. And yet, there is a clear difference between coaching and therapy.
Therapy deals with states of suffering – with mental illnesses, trauma, or symptoms that require treatment. It works with diagnoses, therapeutic methods, and a clear mandate to heal.
Coaching does not do this.
In coaching, we assume that a person is fundamentally capable of acting.
Perhaps exhausted. Perhaps blocked. Perhaps disoriented.
But psychologically stable enough to open up new courses of action.
Coaching begins where people say:
“What has worked so far no longer works –
but I don’t yet know what could work instead.”
An important clarification
Therapy can include coaching elements.
For example, when working with future-oriented questions, resources, role clarification, or decision-making.
And while I make use of psychological techniques in coaching, I do not provide therapy.
Coaching has no treatment mandate.
No diagnostics.
No work with mental illnesses or trauma (even though trauma may come up in the course of a coaching process).
This is not a weakness of coaching, but a necessary limitation of the framework.
It protects everyone involved – and brings clarity to the process.
Coaching is also not Consulting
In classical consulting, you receive answers and recipes.
Recommendations. Solutions.
In coaching, questions emerge.
The coach does not tell you what to do, but supports you in understanding
how decisions are made,
which of your patterns are at work,
and why certain situations tend to repeat themselves.
Responsibility for decisions always remains with you.
Coaching as Process Consultation
(following Fritz B. Simon)
The systemic thinker Fritz B. Simon describes coaching not as expert or content-based consulting, but as process consultation (a perspective he applies equally to therapy).
This means:
The coach does not advise on the solution, but on the path by which someone arrives at their own solutions.
Not:
“This is the right decision.”
But:
“How do you arrive at decisions, and what keeps happening to you in that process?”
The focus lies on patterns of thinking, perception, and relationships.
On what often remains in the background, yet fundamentally shapes our actions.
The role of the Coach
A coach is not a problem-solver.
And not a better advisor.
The role of the coach is to:
- listen attentively
- offer hypotheses, not truths
- open perspectives without steering
- tolerate ambivalence
- and leave responsibility where it belongs:
with the client.
When Coaching is helpful – and when it is not
Coaching is helpful when:
- decisions are pending that cannot be resolved purely rationally
- familiar strategies no longer work
- inner conflicts block clarity
- roles, expectations, or relationships have become complex
Coaching (on its own) is not helpful when:
- acute psychological crises are present
- stabilization, healing, or diagnostics are required
Knowing one’s own limits is also part of professional coaching.
ViaAporia: Coaching in the space of Not-Knowing
Aporia describes the moment when familiar explanations no longer hold.
A state of not-knowing emerges. Uncertainty. Standstill.
Many experience this moment as a deficit.
I understand it as a beginning.
ViaAporia means not rushing to resolve this state.
Not delivering answers immediately.
Not having to “function” again right away.
But instead entering the space in which new perspectives can begin to emerge.
Coaching here is not a repair shop.
It is a shared exploration.
In closing
If you are looking for coaching, do not look for someone with the best answers.
Look for someone who asks the right questions –
and who can hold the space when things are unclear.
Because clarity rarely emerges through pressure.
But through understanding.